Andre, You have a nice start to providing some general information on the theories of both Freud and Jung. However, much of the writing is somewhat difficult to follow and

Andre, You have a nice start to providing some general information on the theories of both Freud and Jung.  However, much of the writing is somewhat difficult to follow and some of your descriptions are extremely similar to those in the assignment instructions.  In order to form an effective essay from the information you have gathered, here are my main recommendations: 1) All outside information must be properly documented.  Be sure to write in your own words, using only brief quotes as necessary and properly paraphrasing by rewording the content entirely.  In either case, include a standard style in-text citation (Author, year, page) to indicate the source of any outside evidence. 2) A standard essay outline would be ful for organizing your content.  Begin with an introduction to explain the main subject, provide background information, and end with a clear statement (state the paper’s purpose and identify the supporting topics).  Follow with 2-4 body paragraphs, each addressing one supporting point; all should begin with relevant .  End the paper with a conclusion paragraph to restate the thesis, summarize the main points, and make a final statement about their implications. 2) Try reading the paper aloud as you revise.  This will you to detect and correct any grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and frequent Laura Standard format is to list the title, your name, and school in the center of the page.  The other lines are not necessary unless requested by your instructor. The paper’s title should be centered on this line. Begin each paragraph with an indent. Word choice:  Should this be “psychologists?” Show ownership of the theory with “Freud’s.” Run on:  The length and wording of this sentence make it difficult to follow.  You address two separate points here, which should be used to form two statements. Tense:  Use the past tense here, “used.” Sentence clarity:  The phrasing here is somewhat unclear.  Try reading the paper aloud to you reword sentences to be clearer. Sentence clarity:  This would be clearer as “not always ready.” Only first words and proper names should be capitalized. Run on:  Use a period here to form two separate statements. Follow a prepositional phrase with a comma to indicate a pause. This does not form a complete statement. Spelling:  Replace with “ideas.” In-text citation format is (Author, year, page).  When an author is not available, use the article title in quotation marks. Run on:  End the sentence here with a period. This can be removed. This is unclear; I am not sure what you mean by this phrase. I think you mean to explain that “Those that are especially traumatic are repressed.” More explanation of the context would be useful here.  Who is Anna?  Why is she being discussed in this paper? Place a comma on each side of this secondary description to break up the sentence with pauses. Sentence clarity:  This is awkwardly phrased, and would be clearer as “psychologically repress some memories.” Include a comma here Wordiness:  Try rephrasing this without using “also” twice, to avoid repetition. This parenthesis can be removed. Missing period. Wordiness:  These points have already been expressed, and the repetition does not seem necessary here. You have a good start to explaining the role of therapy here, but the description is fairly vague.  important role will it play?  is in her unconscious mind, that will be brought out?  ways of dealing with them will be addressed? Follow this standard format for listing a book source: Author.  (Year). City of publication:  Publisher.

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